I drop my boys off at school, and leave my daughter with a dear friend who has offered to take Skye for the day so I can tackle the mountains of work that await me. As I drive home, I expect to feel euphoric; in this decade of baby-making and child raising, I have rarely been alone in my own home.
In an unexpected turn of events, I end up sobbing. Those waiting mountains are just too high, and I feel utterly alone. I don’t even know how to take that first step.
Instinctively, I call my Rob. Mountains do not stop him; he is one of the climbers. Completely unaware of what is on the other side of a thumb swipe, he answers my call. His naive hello opens the floodgates. The waters of potential drug addiction, incarceration, and utter hopelessness which surely await our children pour from me. Slightly unprepared, he attempts to decipher how our as of yet unsullied children have suddenly ended up behind bars. I ramble about laundry piles, cereal bowls, field trips I am caught off guard by, mounds of paperwork luring me into the office, while he tries to link these everyday events to a life of corruption and crime.
I have a tendency to the dramatic, so conclude in choking sobs that I have nothing left in me to give. I feel like just driving the van until I disappear.
After a moment of silence, Rob informs me that were I to check the fuel gauge, I would see that it is unlikely I will get further than Okotoks in my attempt to escape. I alternate between laughing and crying at the situation.
I say goodbye and press End Call. Music fills the van. The words shout an anthem.
“Praise the Lord, with the world on your shoulders, Praise the Lord, when it seems too hard, Praise the Lord, ‘cause in every moment, Jesus Christ is Lord! There is Grace for today, so Praise the Lord!”
The Rock who moves mountains gives grace for the moment; He is Grace in the moment. I park my van in the garage, and step through the door to face my mountain; today, it is holy.
The song link below is for the song referenced above by The City Harmonic, called, “Praise the Lord.” As with all good songs, it can be best appreciated when played very loudly. 😉 (Oh yeah, this is my new favourite song!)
A Space for Grace 